Can You Overcome Your Fears?

(This post is from a letter written home and is presented here in an edited form by Elder Todd's father in hopes that this will offer some degree of comfort to others.)

In the middle of my own troubling circumstances, I write to you in full manner of happiness, expressing my own comfort from the Lord.

. . . I often wrote, I believe, about my past which has been a great sorrow to me. I often felt as if I had failed in my past (as a teenager). I did not share the gospel of Jesus Christ as I should have. I did not speak kind words. I did many gospel duties halfheartedly. I was not as valiant as I could have been. Often those thoughts filled my head . . . I too often remembered the bad times rather than the good.

I know that the Lord has forgiven me of my grievances. I have felt His mercy and I enjoy His presence once more. As a flower grows with sunlight, my soul has grown in His presence. I recognize now that I, in the end of my adolescence, had both a testimony - which has been strengthened - and a knowledge of the scriptures - which has grown. . . God has shown me what I did not see.

I recognize now two incidents in my life that would place great importance in turning my life around. Remember in, I believe 6th grade, when I read a scary story that stated I was going to die, causing me to fear greatly? I cried myself to sleep twice that night, Bria (his sister) shared a scripture that influenced me: Alma 37:37. I learned to turn to God in prayer and to seek the scriptures. It would later form a testimony. I pray that she remembers that night.

The other is the youth activity where we caroled at an elderly home. When we ended the caroling, the leaders encouraged us to talk to the elderly. I didn't want to talk to anybody, so I joined another youth, listening to their conversation. A leader pulled me a way to an elderly woman, who nobody presently was talking with her. Though I have forgotten her name, she was a member of the church and she bore her testimony. I remember, because it still lingers with these words: "I know. I know. I know." I learned the power of testimony.

I am grateful . . . My past is not as dark as I see it and my future is bright. By the grace of God I have mastered the past and future. The present is to prepare; to build upon the talents, attributes and the testimony that I have. . . I am a son of God . . . I will go forward in the service of the Lord, magnifying my callings.

Love, 
Elder Todd

Elder Todd with his Sister prior to leaving for Virginia.

Could Parents Be Right?

Valentine's Day to Bones to Al Capone, Happy Birthday Mom, Revelation on crew cuts, bike fixed/not fixed . . .

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Dear Parents, Mom and Dad/Dad and Mom,

Well, I am finally emailing you and I was wondering how you met Elder Walbrecht, (Elder Walbrecht, was assigned to the California Fresno Mission and we met him the night before he left for home in Woodbridge, VA at his farewell from California. He is assigned to the congregation where Seth now serves.) only due to the fact that he said that he met you. All of us needed a ride to take care of emailing and shopping and we enlisted him for help. So, now it is Tuesday and we had to use another member. Not upset about it, life happens.

(A question was asked in his letter about a shirt he had to sew.) It probably was a Missionary Mall shirt, but I have yet to do laundry. (We have a washer and dryer in the house.) I can clearly tell colors and I know that string was white. Do not have anything else to sow to test it out. 

I got a bike tube and it works. However, bike is still not fixed. It is usable, however. It just needs a final test and a new washer to see if that would correct the problem. It is noisy when I pedal and it becomes difficult to use the gears. I do have a solution. Until then, I am working on it. 

Yes, packages can be received and I am assuming it is for Valentine's Day to which is why you are asking. (Whenever I think of Valentine's Day, I think of Al Capone, which leads to Bones(T.V. show he used to watch), which is why I think of Al Capone, or whatever gangster it was, on Valentine's Day (Saint Valentine's Day Massacre). I made that connection thanks to Bones and I cannot stop thinking of it when I hear Valentine's Day. Also, I need Flonase.) 

Am I being transferred soon? I do not know. I will not know until next week. I do not know whether I am or I am not. Sometimes, I think I am staying. Other times, I feel as though I am leaving. Simply, I do not know.

Glad to hear that the birthday card came in on time! Happy birthday! So, Mom. How old are you? How old?

Well, I got sick. Sort of. I had a cold, took some medicine, and then stopped. It turned into a sore throat, which I still have. Friday, it was bad, because I nearly lost my voice. Luckily, through prayer and God's miracles, I got some of my voice back. I brushed my teeth and the mint of the toothpaste of which I either swallowed or inhaled helped out. Not sure how exactly, but it is good to know that there are daily miracles. But, it took a lot of energy out of me where I was tired all week and was falling asleep in member's cars. Usually I could stay awake, but not last week. (That's funny because unless he was driving, he would always fall asleep in the car. You could be talking to him a mile a minute and look over at him and he'd be sound asleep.)

Besides that, it has been a good week. I felt inspired to write some topics down that I wanted to study in the future. It included a study of Preach My Gospel and a topical guide study on God, Jesus Christ, Holy Ghost, Man, and a variety of topics based on Doctrine and Covenants Section 121:41-46, see footnotes for the TG. I felt as though I should organize the priesthood attributes (D&C 121:41-46) into index cards. Furthermore, as I started to organize it, I felt impressed to go deeper with this study. Do you know what that adds up to? He is all wise and He knows us. Simply put.

But, with this coming week, I am at the near end of my current topical guide study, which means I am on mercy. With a week where I have been tired and sick, it gives me a great chance to focus and refocus. I think this idea of refocusing is going to be continual, because as I continue to refocus, I will begin to see even more clearly than I have ever before. 

I am excited. We had zone meeting and something that we as a stake and a mission will focus some on is family history work. Exactly why I am excited, because in White Oak, I did some family history. Nothing new. But, I loved it and I am excited I get to get back into it. Plus, it helps with the work of salvation, because it is a good conversation starter. The Spirit of Elijah is truly going forth. Amazing. From what I saw, familysearch.org is a very organized site. It is great to use. Family history is one more bit to this whole entire work of salvation. There is great worth in doing missionary work and family history.

Well, I got a hair cut. I know exciting, right? It is not just to inform you that, "Hey, I am getting my regular haircut." But, be prepared to be amazed. It hit me with a sheer force of hitting a wall of bricks. I should care about my appearance and I do. I know, amazing, right? Does that mean I will use hair products? Ha, no. (Never liked anyone putting gels or other things in his hair.)  It does not mean that at all. I still refuse, even if it means that I have to get a regular haircut. Honestly, though, I do and I like the hair cut I got. Now, mind you, I have no idea in the sense of hair styles, so as far as I think I know, I think it was a crew cut. Whatever that means. (The guy asked me if I wanted a crew cut and I was so confused. Finally, he just, "You want a hair cut.") (Much of the time his hair was cut by a hair stylist who was a neighbor, Linda Haight, or his sister who also is a hair stylist. Nothing was ever said about crew cuts. He always had a short cut or else it grew into a porcupine look.) I think I will get this hair cut for the rest of my life. But, it goes beyond that. I should care about how I dress as well. It is not just about looking nice for missionary work or other important tasks/events, but daily life. I hope you understand. (Yes, we do. I think we told him that several times as a teenager.) It was an interesting revelation for me. (Ooh, the light clicks on. You see our young people who serve missions have a lot of personal revelations or should we say self-revealing facts.) I am sure you are laughing at this by now (Yep, that prophetic mind is right!), that, or rejoicing that a prayer has been answered (both). So, it is no more, "I do not care how I look," it is more of, "Hey, I do care and I look nice with this." See, the mission does change people. (We knew it would. See myths about Mormon missionaries busted on the side bar.)

So, nothing else new. I have been working hard, doing all that I can. I keep on learning new things and relearning old things.

All is well.

Love,

Elder S. Todd