You'll Be Dead At Any Moment

My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
          --Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-9

Tuesday, February 17, 2015 9:11 PM

Dear Parents, Mom and Dad/Dad and Mom,

You are probably noting the time of email and are probably wondering why I am emailing at this time of all times. Yes, I know. I rather be working. With all of the latest developments, I have been striving companionship unity in the things that I do. Last night, I talked to my companion about resolving our issues peacefully for I have felt that there is a bit of resentment that we have towards each other. I am not angry at him, but I am trying all that I can to help him and show my care and love. He told me that he was tired of making all the decisions (Is that why he sleeps much of the day away?) and doing all the talking for lessons and tracting. Yes, it may be true that he talks more, but I never considered it to be a problem. I have had little chance to talk in lessons with many of my other companions and I learned to listen more than talk. When I teach, I talk to the point. I have no need for elaboration. He feels he makes the decisions for when we get in the car, we usually do what he has in mind. When he asks me what I want to do, I say either, I do not know, potentials, or tracting (for those are the only options that I foresee that we have). So, yes, that is all true. I told him that planning would be beneficial for me, because then I would know what we are talking about, what has been taught, and other things. He simply stated that he does not want to plan; rather, he just goes to the lesson and just goes with, in my perspective, whatever. If we plan, he'll just agree and plan. Now, from this talk that we had, we reached no conclusions, no compromises of any kind. However, I am willing to talk more if he will in exchange plan with me with full input. This provides the benefit for me to be able to have the opportunity to grow, to move the work along, and to foster companionship unity. I have yet to make the deal, so that is in part why I am here, probably because he believes that I will say one of the three options that I usually say.

Yet, the odd thing is, when I made the decisions yesterday, I met resistance. Seeing as the cars were grounded due to the snow, I decided we would walk to an investigator's house four miles away and from there, we would go to the church to weekly plan. He was not thrilled to walk (big surprise there) and thought it good to try to get a ride. That was a good idea and I asked him to try to do that while we walked. He did not. We did not weekly plan, because our dinner cancelled. When we arrived at the church, there were members of whom we hitched a ride to one of their houses, particularly the wife of Brother Anderson of the mission presidency. When we arrived home, I was bit upset, so I needed to cool off before I even thought of approaching my companion.

I will explain these things and more this email.

Monday, after P-day, around 5:50, my companion asks if we can play chess. I declined on the simple basis that he needed to get ready, so we could go out before dinner at seven. Well, we did not leave the house until about dinner time. We went to the recent convert and returning members house for dinner. It was a nice, enjoyable dinner. 

Tuesday, I got up, did my usual routine, and hope that he gets up. I called dinner at noon and set up a time. One o'clock rolls around. He is still not up. Okay, turn on the lights, tell him to wake up. Two hours later, he is still not up. He has not said anything to me. Finally, he gets up and asks for the phone. He needs to cancel dinner, because he is sick. So, nothing got done Tuesday. 

Wednesday rolls around. Okay, as far as I know he is sick. I called some missionaries, because I needed a blessing. These were not the zone leaders, but some fellow missionaries. I should make mention that I know of three companionships (one being the Zone Leaders) that know of the sleeping in. From these missionaries, I got the blessing. I felt that I needed to focus on the area, trying to help it. I have a purpose and I am going to fulfill it. I regained that energy and zeal to go forward. 

I called the zone leaders to get help. They came to our apartment and gave them the short of everything. Well, I love our zone leaders, but they can be a bit crazy. What did the zone leaders do? Wake up my companion and had him quickly get dressed. They asked me who in the ward could he stay with; I suggested one person, we tried to verify if it was okay, but there is no male, which is a "no go." Okay, so we call all that I can think of. We call the ward mission leader for suggestions. He has none, but will inform the ward council for suggestions; later, we get back, that without permission from the mission president, we cannot separate, plus nobody has any idea. (But, I am thinking to myself now, wait, what about splits?) At this point, I have no idea who to call and was about to give up all hopes. Finally, we found a place from another member in another ward. We get there and drop my companion off... until, of course, when we get there, my companion is "feeling better." ("No, you're not, you'll be dead at any moment.")

Later, the zone leaders returned us to our apartment. Our dinner for the night was dropped off. My companion received a blessing from the zone leaders. That night, my companion asked me what we should do. Well, we were invited that day to go out to Goochland to a member's house to do "Bible Study." We have been invited by the bishop and now the member himself. I decided that we could do that or we could go tracting in attempts to get feedback. We went to the Bible Study in the end. It was good, because there are less actives at this study. We are reading from the Book of Mormon and had a small discussion. I was asked if living the gospel was easy. I said yes, which I know it is hard. Believe me, I am going through this rough situation where I am fighting like a dragon to go forward. What I meant to say and what I failed to say was that it is difficult for us, but as Paul stated, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." By relying on Christ, it does not make things necessarily easier, but bearable where our burdens do indeed become light.

Now, I was also able to discern what is going on with Goochland by their comments. Goochland does not like Gayton (a congregation), or at least a lot of the less active or semi active members do no like Gayton. They feel unwelcome. They wish they had their own branch (a smaller congregation). I do not take these comments lightly, because it is an issue that I cannot solve. Yet I can bring it up to the bishop, hopefully not to burden the bishop even further, but to gain ideas to help Goochland ( a place near Richmond, VA).

Thursday, we were able to volunteer at the health center where "Mama" is. Before bingo, the activity we help with, we were able to see "Mama" and check up on her. We came back after bingo to pray with her. Bingo was fun and better than last time. I was unsure really what to do, but this time, I really helped out, which made me happy. We, that night, checked on our nine year old investigator and his recent convert family members. We were able to have a lesson with him, reading the Book of Mormon with a chapter about baptism. 

Friday, we were able to see the two women, who are recent converts, whose house is dimly lit and talked more from the Book of Mormon. We read Alma 7, which it was good to read to remember Jesus Christ and to know that I am not alone. We tried some other people that night, but it did not work out. We even tried to contact our South African investigator, but it was not a good time. 

Saturday, we worked on the progress record. We had a lesson with a man whom we met previously and he is officially a new investigator. He goes strictly by the Bible, because he feels it is the source to know and discern truth. He still is not sure how the Book of Mormon fits in with certain things. However, by the end of the lesson, he asked for a Book of Mormon. I see good coming from this. We had a late dinner with some members. In the midst of it, the wind picked up and we got a light dusting of snow. And so the beginning of the snow began. 

Sunday, it was a freezing cold day. I could see my breath in the car. It was awful, because I did not dress too warmly. I figured I would be warm in the church. Thank goodness the church was warm. There is a member in the ward that, in some sense, is a recent move in, though I am not sure how recently he moved in. I know this member from Powhatan and it is so great to see him. He is mentally handicapped. I knew his parents and his brother (who is also mentally handicapped). I decided on Sundays that I would watch out for him and try to be of help. I am going to make sure that he feels welcome and that I say hello to him.

We had a lesson that night with a part member family. We met this man once and I thought we had a good lesson. He is open religiously and is trying to understand things. He searches many sources and agrees with what we teach. It is a matter for us to help see that there is a source of truth to know the things he is trying to understand.

Monday, we tried to see a potential, then returned to the house, because he, as I found, "was tired of making all the decisions." We had a brief argument on what would I would want to do; I insisted that it is not matter of what I want to do, but what we need to do. Somehow, he did not understand, so I decided that we would again see the nine year old investigator. We did try stopping by on Sunday, but we were told to try again the next day. By this point, it started to snow. Cars are grounded. That is when I decided we would make the trek of four miles or so to this person's place.

I did not know where I was going and I thought we established the fact that we were going there. He did not lead, so in the beginning, we went the wrong way until I had to reaffirm our plans. He suggested that we call a member to get a ride. "Alright," I said, "you do that and instead of sitting here, we will move ahead." We walked and I stopped at intersections to ensure I was going the right way. I asked if he called anybody, but he said, "I could not think of anyone." Well, we trekked forward. We made it to the place and I made the joke that "This is the place." (You know, Brigham Young and Utah.) He didn't laugh nor did he get the reference. We had our lesson on again baptism with the nine year old.

From there, I decided we would go to the church to plan. He asked about dinner, so I said ask our dinner appointment for their address and we would walk there. He didn't, but instead asked for a ride. Because of the snow and potential bad road conditions, dinner cancelled. We trekked to the church; he walked way ahead of me, so I sang while I walked. He got there quite a bit before me... and there were members there. So, we got there. A member was there and we hitched a ride to their house. They ended up giving us dinner and a ride home.

I was a bit upset and I needed to cool down, so nothing else got done that day. I was upset, because I did not understand his attitude towards me nor his resentment. That night we had our talk, which ended in the middle. I plan to finish it tonight with that deal. I pray that it will go well. It had upset me, because I never thought it was a problem. I do not know why he waited to say anything. That upset me.

It bothered me. I even woke during the night and began to think about it before I forced myself to fall back asleep. I did realize that there is a great opportunity out of this for me to grow (by gaining the ability of small talk), companionship unity can be fostered, and the work can move along.

Tout va bien!

Love,

Elder S. Todd

A Puzzle Piece is Missing: Are You Sitting On It?

Monday, February 2, 2015

Dear Parents, Mom and Dad/Dad and Mom,

You are right; I do not know what is going on with my companion. I have been persisting in trying to do the right things (In our letter to our son we suggested a number of reasons that might exist behind his companions behavior such as losing a loved one, parents who may have divorced while he was serving, or even a girlfriend who no longer has interest. When you are talking about young adults 18 - 25, reasons for not exhibiting the best missionary behavior can really vary.). I gave him that note (mentioned in a previous post) and I noticed that he withdrew a bit during that Sunday. However, he did not change and he got back into doing what he does. If anything, he has been more openly engaging in activities that are contrary to a person going to bed. I have not enjoyed it; I was slightly getting sadder. I have not given up, because I will not concede defeat. I try to understand what is his cause for behaving the way he does, but he avoids the topic like a plague. I asked him if he has any sleeping problems, which he only said that he has a hard time waking up. Later, I asked about the melatonin that he takes, which he says that he has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. Those things I can understand, but I am missing the big key to this puzzle. I am trying to figure out why then does he not go to bed. Once I find that out, I can proceed in determining the underlying issue. Last night, I planned to confront him and ask him these questions. He was shaving and he then proceeded to shower. I decided then to forego it for the night. If I am going to help him, I need to know how to best help him. I am trying open doors in order to help him. I tried small talk with him, but I am not the best at small talk. In summary, I am seeking answers and I am not going to give up. There are things going on here that I cannot even begin to explain, and I am not going anywhere until I can. 


The biggest success this week is we, for the first time this transfer, weekly planned. It was like, not trying to be negative here, pulling teeth or trying to lead a donkey. Ever since I began to weekly plan in depth, I have loved it, because it gives us a general idea of what we want to focus on and what general scriptures or questions we will use. To me, it shows that we are spiritually creating the lesson, so that we are prepared to enable the Spirit to draw something from us. It is a lot better than stating, "This person needs to be taught the Plan of Salvation... We need to follow up on... We need to invite him..." I will have to hold off on that for a while until I can first help my companion, because trying to do that was a headache. In due time, we will need to do that. Baby steps; that is how we will work. Big success here with weekly planning, though.

You are right. I am very enthusiastic about the work. I have been on this enthusiastic high about missionary work. The reason for this is because I know. From 19 months (and it is scary that it is nineteen months already), I have become more converted to the gospel. I know the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real, that by it each and every one of us is enabled to return to our Heavenly Father. By the Atonement, I have improved myself and closed the distance of my relationship with God. God is real, because He has become real in my life and I recognize the reality of the spiritual aspect of life. It is needed, because it is how we can be happy, not only for a temporal time, but for a lasting duration. My testimony is my fire. As I have learned in a recent meeting, "I light myself on fire, so that people can watch me burn." That testimony is my fuel that keeps me going and lights me on fire. It is both fuel and the igniting power.

A little interesting fact that I have discovered while doing family history this week. I was working on inputting information on Ancestry (as usual) and was correlating on FamilySearch (I was inputting information on the Todd line, which is easier to follow than most of the other names that I have branched off with) when I discovered that a sibling [Nellie Eva Todd, for your information] of Henry Matthew Todd had married John Whittaker Taylor, being one of his multiple wives. We have relations to John Taylor through this, which I thought was cool. Well, we have the institute manual of Church History in our apartment and I was looking through it. I came across John Whittaker Taylor, who during the Smoot hearings had to go into hiding (as well as another Apostle), because he had married more wives after the Manifesto was given. He later resigned from the apostleship and six years later, he was excommunicated for marrying another woman. After reading that, I now more fully realize that it is important to follow the prophet.

The highlights of this week. 

Monday, we had dinner with some members, who told us about this Greek woman who is a less active. We, after trying a few people, went to see her. She is an award winning hairstylist, who, as she had told us, won a competition, because she was able to cut hair really well in seven minutes. (And she will cut out hair for free) She has had some hard times due to the malicious intents of others. She has been asking about the Word of Wisdom and wine, coffee, and tea. This Greek woman is amazing. She is kind and, from what I can tell, is hard working, doing her work quickly and efficiently. We have addressed some of her concerns and answered any questions that she has had. 

Tuesday, we also contacted a man whose wife is a less active. He has a definite interest in the gospel (and he has been taught once by my current companion and my predecessor). We watched the Restoration video with him. He did not come to church this week. The wife was not there when we came by. That night, we had dinner with members who mentioned the press release that the Church had recently done. May I say that it is the most wonderful statement, not because I am a Mormon and not because I am a missionary, but because it calls for fairness for the religious community (in religious freedom laws and protection) and for the LGBT community (in basic human rights, such as housing). [I do hope that I understood the message clearly and conveyed it correctly.] If you have not watched it, I recommend it.  

Wednesday, we went to Cafe Rio, because some missionaries here wanted to go and somebody was leaving. It just opened and so we went. We got a free meal, because members were there and they gladly paid for us. Later that day, we contacted a few recent move ins who have not come to church. Some were excited to see us, others not so much. One person opened the door, we asked if the person was such and such name, and she asked how did you know. Well, may I add a note that her pants had the University of Utah logo on it with Utah near it. True, not all people in Utah are Latter-day Saints, but seeing as we were looking for a Latter-day Saint, it was a big sign saying, "Hey, I am such and such person." She told us we could come back, but she did not seem that excited to see us. Neither did some other people. 

Thursday, not much happened, unfortunately. 

Friday, we had a zone meeting. We talked about spiritually creating our baptisms, we talked about companionships, unity and ward council. Ever since I have come here, there have been a lot of talks and messages that I have applied to myself and my situation. There are some that I could easily look at my companion and say, "Listen," but I decided to take a look at myself. I love President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's "Lord, Is it I?" for it is so easy to look at someone else and say, "Oh, they need it." We are meant to improve and seeing we are imperfect, we should apply the messages to ourselves, even if we heard them multiple upon multiple times. I learned some things during this meeting. 

Saturday, we attempted to get our car serviced. The airbag light came on, which according to the manual, "The airbag may not deploy during a crash and may [in fact] deploy randomly." We found a place to get a diagnosis, which would cost ninety-nine dollars. We called the missionary in charge of the cars, who told us to hold off while he thinks about it. 

Side note, my nightmares have been changing. I used to have nightmares of school and my grades being below a B or even that of an A. I always felt like I was failing a class. Now, I had one dream where I was put into the hospital and I needed some sort of procedure, but before they could do anything, I stated, "Has this been approved by Missionary Medical?" Well, the obvious answer was no, because I was immediately ejected from the hospital. I had another dream/nightmare where I had a seizure and afterwards, I got up and was like, "I need to go to the hospital. I do not feel good." Then, I thought, "Oh, wait, I need to get it approved by Missionary Medical." I told my companion that I am surprised I have not had a nightmare about the cars and the processes with them. Then again, it is not too stressful, though it feels that it happens all too frequently.

Sunday, we had church and we weekly planned. We attempted to see people, but did not have success until that night. We were able to see a few people, despite it being the Super Bowl, the unofficial national holiday.

I do say that "All is Well!" At times, I do want to sing, "Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men, of a people who will never be oppressed again...." but I refrain (partially because I am not entirely sure of how it goes) and it gets me riled up. I will not be oppressed in spirit. My goal for this week is not to give up. I am going to go upward, not downward.

Tout va bien! Alles wohl!

Love,

Elder S. Todd

Trusting the Lord

Dear Parents, Mom and Dad/Dad and Mom,

It is Columbus Day? Wow, I totally forgot! Then again, I spent four years in a high school that never took it off. And then, I did not think that the library might close here. So, it is okay, because obviously you are receiving word from me in this email with the library open. 

With the staff at the mental health duplexes, we have not been disturbed since that incident. We have been teaching without a problem. It is great, though I am just a bit wanting to avoid the staff. But, I am sure they know we are there (cameras). 

It sounds like Sean and kids are doing good. It sounds like Mom is really busy with missionary work and grandma work! Keep at it! And yes, you did tell me about the lady that is part of a part-member home. We do have Missionary Coordination Meeting, though hardly any ward missionaries come. I think we have few ward missionaries here. But with exchanges, we end up calling people that are voluntold (made up word from volunteer and told, it is sometimes a LDS mentality "tell me what you want done and I will do it.") to come on splits (The missionary pair splits up so each can work with a member of the same gender). It is up to us to contact those people. Plus, there are a few people home during the day that can come for day lessons. 

We will not get any electronic devices (tablets or notebooks) until next year. Only certain missions have received them. I am not riding a bike, so I am good in the car as long as my companion drives safely (I am no longer the designated driver!). And Bria is flying?(Yes) Isn't she afraid of flying? (Yes, she plans on taking a mild sedative) Well, I am quite glad to hear that she is taking an initiative to fly out. And I am so happy to hear about my dog! (His Boxer dog gets walked at least Mon. through Fri, On Thursday, his mother walks his dog five miles which the dog enjoys.)

Taking the lead (he is in charge until his companion gets used to his new area) is a bit nerve wracking, but I am fine. I can trust on the Lord to help me with this work. I really do feel that He has been directing me. First day with my new companion, we go see this recent convert who is slightly less active and we briefly talk to her. One of the kids' friends was there and he is about 19. We talked to him and the friend really opened up. We answered many questions that he had and he said that he was agnostic. He was so excited and he wants to meet back with us at the same house (because his parents would not be too approving). So, it is all good. I have been listening to the Spirit. 

My new companion is awesome. So, I no longer have Elder Meibos, but now, I have Elder Longman. I cannot help, but say this. He is a much better missionary than Meibos. I respect Meibos for training me, but Longman is taking a lot of initiative. As a district leader (a leader of a small group of missionaries in a geographical area usually 3-4 pairs.), Longman is trying to do the work even with bad cell phone reception while my previous companion did nothing. There are certain things that I see in Elder Longman that I like much more than Elder Meibos. We might get along a lot more than I did with Meibos. Elder Longman comes from Ogden, Utah. He is the oldest in his family and a genuine guy. He cares about the people he teaches. In fact, this past Saturday we attended two baptisms of people that he has taught. So, I went down to Manchester to see those baptisms. A commuter in the Manchester Ward took us down to and up back. It was great talking to the commuter, because he comes from Scotland and talked about the different accents in the different parts. He did not talk much about the culture, but it is all right; he did not seem that interested in the culture, anyhow.

A good portion of this week was booked, only because Meibos wanted to say goodbye to certain people. Thursday was planned around the transfers and a member dinner. Friday was booked with appointments and weekly planning. Saturday was going to Manchester, which took up time. Everything has been working out. With the engaged couple who were furloughed, the woman attended church and enjoyed it. I was seriously hoping the man would because he would be a lot more interested. They are hard to teach, because they are so quiet. Sometimes they will ask questions, but they are still quiet. The neighbors of a member, who my previous companion felt prompted to go see, are doing well. The husband is a bit skeptical, but the wife is a lot more interested. They did not go to church, but the bishop is willing to come with us one night to talk to the husband. I am so excited. The mental health people are doing well, though we need to get in contact with one of them soon. One can progress, but we are going to have to find rides to church for them.

This week kept me slightly busy, farewell-mix week. There is much to do and I will keep working hard. I am so glad I have a driven companion.

All is well! Thanks for all your support!

Love,

Elder S. Todd

P.S. Thanks for the quote. It is what I needed.