Try and Keep on Trying!

I cried unto the Lord with my voice; with my voice unto the Lord did I make my supplication.  I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble. When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path. In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me.  I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul.  I cried unto thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living.   Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low: deliver me from my persecutors; for they are stronger than I.  Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.-Psalms 142

February 23, 2015

Dear Parents, Mom and Dad/Dad and Mom,

I am sorry that you have been sick and battling illnesses. A lot of people have been sick and cancelling on us. It has snowed, been cold, rained, and the snow is melting now. It should get colder. Or it could not.

I have told you the majority of Tuesday. We accessed computers at a computer lab at another set of missionaries apartment. We were able to drive once the roads were cleared and they were cleared during the day. In the beginning of the day, he got up, late, because he knew the roads were not cleared. Got ready, only to go back to bed. We could have easily walked to this set of missionaries apartment, no problem. But, with Monday and walking, I doubt that he would have liked to walk some more. It is just one more mile to walk. 

So, Tuesday, I struck my deal. Well, he was not going for it, because "it just didn't work for him." I told him to try and to keep on trying. I kept on pushing and he finally agreed. And then we planned, though he did not write it down. That night, I learned that we were having exchanges (actual exchanges) with our zone leaders. I was the one to leave to go to the different area.

Wednesday, he got up a bit late, but earlier than normal. He got ready and the zone leaders delayed. I needed groceries, so we got groceries. Then, I went off to the zone leader's area. I should add that our zone leaders are Spanish missionaries, so they are assigned to the Spanish branch that encompasses the Richmond Stake. Seeing as I know very little Spanish and I did not have Google translate with me, I could not do much. But, it was a lot of fun. Yes, I did not understand most of what what was going, but I picked up on a few words. We tracted into a Spanish family that was watching soccer. Before we began, we prayed, but it was interesting, the family had us stand up to pray and the stood up as well. The zone leader told me to say the prayer and he would translate. Well, before I knew it, the head of the household was saying a prayer, so I thought I would be courteous and then I would say the prayer. When he got done, everybody sat down, so I did not pray. The lesson talked about eternal families, temples, prophets, and some argument about the Spirit. That is what I caught. By the end, we again stood up to pray and the zone leader said the prayer with two other people saying their own prayer at the same time. I could hear distinctly each voice and I thought, "Man, this is like my schizophrenia project and the simulator." I was severely confused by all of it. We had a wonderful dinner with the branch president. I told them I was Hispanic. The wife of the branch president looked at me and said she could see it somewhat, but I looked really white. Yes, that is true. We tracted again that night and found a man who let us in. The zone leader translated my testimony of prayer for him.

Thursday, we had an early morning lesson and then, we exchanged back. We had district meeting and after lunch, we helped out at the health center with Bingo. We tried seeing a few people. We had a successful lesson that night, because we were in unity. We shared an equal amount, which was great. I have to mention that he seemed a lot happier that day. He showed that he could plan as well and that we could work together.

However, and this is the strange thing, when I went to check on him at 10:30, I could tell that whatever it was, it was back. He was sitting there eating chips and I could sense that he was back. It seems odd to say, but that is the only way I could describe it. Thankfully, it was not fully back, whatever it was. Unfortunately, I did not catch it in time. (As his parents we truly feel that something serious is going on with his companion beyond simple laziness. We can only hope that leaders beyond the young missionaries recognize something is terribly wrong here. However, we do not have the expertise to say what it might be.)

Friday, we had a lesson with a potential and now he is an investigator. It was a successful lesson, though I had to push to say what I needed to say. It was not as united as the day before. We saw the ladies in the dark house that we read the Book of Mormon with. It was a simple lesson and we made some good discussions on it. We saw this other recent convert who cognitively can understand things, but does have difficulty in some ways it seems. He was recently baptized, but he still goes to his other church, partially due to his father being opposed to the Church and partially due to its familiarity. We were able to get that information out of him. 

Saturday, we did the progress record and we did some form of weekly planning. It was more of a companionship study, but it helped for a coming lesson at least. We had dinner with this family, a young couple with their two little ones, who recently moved into the ward. The oldest kid, a three year old, kept asking me for my name and I told him and pointed to my name tag for reference. Well, by the second time I did that, I made that startling realization the kid could not read. Yeah, I felt bad for my own ignorance about children. It was funny the kid's brother, who is a year or so old, was playing with my bookbag. The oldest, thinking I did not see this, stated, "My brother is playing with your purse." Thanks, kid, I realize your brother is playing with my "purse." We had transfer calls that night and my companion is being transferred. Something I should have stated from the beginning, but at least I did and did not forget. Well, this mirrors Appomattox in a slight way. I was a bit apprehensive about leading the area. What do you do? You feel like you personally failed in an area, or at least you were not able to do much, but at least a little. So, I prayed.

Sunday, my own day of Pentecost. There was a rich spiritual outpouring for me that day. I learned about kindness and love from the ward conference we had yesterday. The bishop talked about unity and the stake president talked about what to do if you fall out of the boat, meaning the importance of scripture study, praying, and church attendance. The rest of the day, I felt even more confident in my self; we had two good lessons with people that day, one of them being our investigator who sticks to the Bible. I struck a deal with him (odd, I know) that when we read the Book of Mormon with him, to settle any conflicts that he might see with it (if it contradicts the Bible), then we will go out of our way to figure it out and to resolve the conflict. He had a problem with "A Bible, A Bible, we need no more Bible," but we were able to discuss that. I felt that my prayers and actions were guided by the Spirit. I am confident that as I turn to the Lord with leading the area, all will be well.


Two other things. One, at dinner, the older couple we were with talked about how their daughter was attacked by a dog on her mission. It was a gruesome account. Felt like mentioning it, because, mother, you are not alone in accounts of dog attacks and dog fights. Plus, I find it an interesting coincidence of these two stories.

As for Goochland, some members there feel neglected and offended in some ways. The ward council has heard all about it, know the situation, tries to help, but it has gone nowhere. The ward mission leader has gone through it again and again. So, I am back to, "Okay, what am I to do?" I think if we can help the Goochland become spiritually self reliant than that would be progress. Gayton Ward then has to ensure they complete this by reaching a hand out. If we make the first move, it would be good. Then, we can know these people as investigators and bring in fellowship in the claim, "We need a ride due to our mile limitations."

Tout va bien!

Love,

Elder S. Todd

You'll Be Dead At Any Moment

My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
          --Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-9

Tuesday, February 17, 2015 9:11 PM

Dear Parents, Mom and Dad/Dad and Mom,

You are probably noting the time of email and are probably wondering why I am emailing at this time of all times. Yes, I know. I rather be working. With all of the latest developments, I have been striving companionship unity in the things that I do. Last night, I talked to my companion about resolving our issues peacefully for I have felt that there is a bit of resentment that we have towards each other. I am not angry at him, but I am trying all that I can to help him and show my care and love. He told me that he was tired of making all the decisions (Is that why he sleeps much of the day away?) and doing all the talking for lessons and tracting. Yes, it may be true that he talks more, but I never considered it to be a problem. I have had little chance to talk in lessons with many of my other companions and I learned to listen more than talk. When I teach, I talk to the point. I have no need for elaboration. He feels he makes the decisions for when we get in the car, we usually do what he has in mind. When he asks me what I want to do, I say either, I do not know, potentials, or tracting (for those are the only options that I foresee that we have). So, yes, that is all true. I told him that planning would be beneficial for me, because then I would know what we are talking about, what has been taught, and other things. He simply stated that he does not want to plan; rather, he just goes to the lesson and just goes with, in my perspective, whatever. If we plan, he'll just agree and plan. Now, from this talk that we had, we reached no conclusions, no compromises of any kind. However, I am willing to talk more if he will in exchange plan with me with full input. This provides the benefit for me to be able to have the opportunity to grow, to move the work along, and to foster companionship unity. I have yet to make the deal, so that is in part why I am here, probably because he believes that I will say one of the three options that I usually say.

Yet, the odd thing is, when I made the decisions yesterday, I met resistance. Seeing as the cars were grounded due to the snow, I decided we would walk to an investigator's house four miles away and from there, we would go to the church to weekly plan. He was not thrilled to walk (big surprise there) and thought it good to try to get a ride. That was a good idea and I asked him to try to do that while we walked. He did not. We did not weekly plan, because our dinner cancelled. When we arrived at the church, there were members of whom we hitched a ride to one of their houses, particularly the wife of Brother Anderson of the mission presidency. When we arrived home, I was bit upset, so I needed to cool off before I even thought of approaching my companion.

I will explain these things and more this email.

Monday, after P-day, around 5:50, my companion asks if we can play chess. I declined on the simple basis that he needed to get ready, so we could go out before dinner at seven. Well, we did not leave the house until about dinner time. We went to the recent convert and returning members house for dinner. It was a nice, enjoyable dinner. 

Tuesday, I got up, did my usual routine, and hope that he gets up. I called dinner at noon and set up a time. One o'clock rolls around. He is still not up. Okay, turn on the lights, tell him to wake up. Two hours later, he is still not up. He has not said anything to me. Finally, he gets up and asks for the phone. He needs to cancel dinner, because he is sick. So, nothing got done Tuesday. 

Wednesday rolls around. Okay, as far as I know he is sick. I called some missionaries, because I needed a blessing. These were not the zone leaders, but some fellow missionaries. I should make mention that I know of three companionships (one being the Zone Leaders) that know of the sleeping in. From these missionaries, I got the blessing. I felt that I needed to focus on the area, trying to help it. I have a purpose and I am going to fulfill it. I regained that energy and zeal to go forward. 

I called the zone leaders to get help. They came to our apartment and gave them the short of everything. Well, I love our zone leaders, but they can be a bit crazy. What did the zone leaders do? Wake up my companion and had him quickly get dressed. They asked me who in the ward could he stay with; I suggested one person, we tried to verify if it was okay, but there is no male, which is a "no go." Okay, so we call all that I can think of. We call the ward mission leader for suggestions. He has none, but will inform the ward council for suggestions; later, we get back, that without permission from the mission president, we cannot separate, plus nobody has any idea. (But, I am thinking to myself now, wait, what about splits?) At this point, I have no idea who to call and was about to give up all hopes. Finally, we found a place from another member in another ward. We get there and drop my companion off... until, of course, when we get there, my companion is "feeling better." ("No, you're not, you'll be dead at any moment.")

Later, the zone leaders returned us to our apartment. Our dinner for the night was dropped off. My companion received a blessing from the zone leaders. That night, my companion asked me what we should do. Well, we were invited that day to go out to Goochland to a member's house to do "Bible Study." We have been invited by the bishop and now the member himself. I decided that we could do that or we could go tracting in attempts to get feedback. We went to the Bible Study in the end. It was good, because there are less actives at this study. We are reading from the Book of Mormon and had a small discussion. I was asked if living the gospel was easy. I said yes, which I know it is hard. Believe me, I am going through this rough situation where I am fighting like a dragon to go forward. What I meant to say and what I failed to say was that it is difficult for us, but as Paul stated, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." By relying on Christ, it does not make things necessarily easier, but bearable where our burdens do indeed become light.

Now, I was also able to discern what is going on with Goochland by their comments. Goochland does not like Gayton (a congregation), or at least a lot of the less active or semi active members do no like Gayton. They feel unwelcome. They wish they had their own branch (a smaller congregation). I do not take these comments lightly, because it is an issue that I cannot solve. Yet I can bring it up to the bishop, hopefully not to burden the bishop even further, but to gain ideas to help Goochland ( a place near Richmond, VA).

Thursday, we were able to volunteer at the health center where "Mama" is. Before bingo, the activity we help with, we were able to see "Mama" and check up on her. We came back after bingo to pray with her. Bingo was fun and better than last time. I was unsure really what to do, but this time, I really helped out, which made me happy. We, that night, checked on our nine year old investigator and his recent convert family members. We were able to have a lesson with him, reading the Book of Mormon with a chapter about baptism. 

Friday, we were able to see the two women, who are recent converts, whose house is dimly lit and talked more from the Book of Mormon. We read Alma 7, which it was good to read to remember Jesus Christ and to know that I am not alone. We tried some other people that night, but it did not work out. We even tried to contact our South African investigator, but it was not a good time. 

Saturday, we worked on the progress record. We had a lesson with a man whom we met previously and he is officially a new investigator. He goes strictly by the Bible, because he feels it is the source to know and discern truth. He still is not sure how the Book of Mormon fits in with certain things. However, by the end of the lesson, he asked for a Book of Mormon. I see good coming from this. We had a late dinner with some members. In the midst of it, the wind picked up and we got a light dusting of snow. And so the beginning of the snow began. 

Sunday, it was a freezing cold day. I could see my breath in the car. It was awful, because I did not dress too warmly. I figured I would be warm in the church. Thank goodness the church was warm. There is a member in the ward that, in some sense, is a recent move in, though I am not sure how recently he moved in. I know this member from Powhatan and it is so great to see him. He is mentally handicapped. I knew his parents and his brother (who is also mentally handicapped). I decided on Sundays that I would watch out for him and try to be of help. I am going to make sure that he feels welcome and that I say hello to him.

We had a lesson that night with a part member family. We met this man once and I thought we had a good lesson. He is open religiously and is trying to understand things. He searches many sources and agrees with what we teach. It is a matter for us to help see that there is a source of truth to know the things he is trying to understand.

Monday, we tried to see a potential, then returned to the house, because he, as I found, "was tired of making all the decisions." We had a brief argument on what would I would want to do; I insisted that it is not matter of what I want to do, but what we need to do. Somehow, he did not understand, so I decided that we would again see the nine year old investigator. We did try stopping by on Sunday, but we were told to try again the next day. By this point, it started to snow. Cars are grounded. That is when I decided we would make the trek of four miles or so to this person's place.

I did not know where I was going and I thought we established the fact that we were going there. He did not lead, so in the beginning, we went the wrong way until I had to reaffirm our plans. He suggested that we call a member to get a ride. "Alright," I said, "you do that and instead of sitting here, we will move ahead." We walked and I stopped at intersections to ensure I was going the right way. I asked if he called anybody, but he said, "I could not think of anyone." Well, we trekked forward. We made it to the place and I made the joke that "This is the place." (You know, Brigham Young and Utah.) He didn't laugh nor did he get the reference. We had our lesson on again baptism with the nine year old.

From there, I decided we would go to the church to plan. He asked about dinner, so I said ask our dinner appointment for their address and we would walk there. He didn't, but instead asked for a ride. Because of the snow and potential bad road conditions, dinner cancelled. We trekked to the church; he walked way ahead of me, so I sang while I walked. He got there quite a bit before me... and there were members there. So, we got there. A member was there and we hitched a ride to their house. They ended up giving us dinner and a ride home.

I was a bit upset and I needed to cool down, so nothing else got done that day. I was upset, because I did not understand his attitude towards me nor his resentment. That night we had our talk, which ended in the middle. I plan to finish it tonight with that deal. I pray that it will go well. It had upset me, because I never thought it was a problem. I do not know why he waited to say anything. That upset me.

It bothered me. I even woke during the night and began to think about it before I forced myself to fall back asleep. I did realize that there is a great opportunity out of this for me to grow (by gaining the ability of small talk), companionship unity can be fostered, and the work can move along.

Tout va bien!

Love,

Elder S. Todd

Melatonin, A Phone Call, Miracle, Drunk Love

The Strange Life of a Mormon Missionary

Monday, February 9, 2015

Dear Parents, Mom and Dad/Dad and Mom,

I have no idea exactly what is wrong with my companion. I asked why he stays up, which he says, "I cannot fall asleep." Okay... I understand that you cannot fall asleep, but you take Melatonin. "I use it to fall asleep." Okay, I understand that and I asked him then, "Why do you engage in activities [e.g. working out, having lights on] that are contrary to a person trying to fall asleep?" He simply stated, "I tend to start waking up at night, particularly at this time [9:30]. It naturally happens." Naturally? Okay, I understand that. I also understand if you use Melatonin to sleep, then use it to sleep. I wanted to repeat what I said in my letter that I wrote to him. If the Lord has commanded us to go to bed early and then to rise up early, he will help us with that, even if it seems contrary to our "natural" sleep cycles. I know that there is power to change. By the time that I go through this in my entire mind, I realize the commonality of the sleeping problem and the planning problem. Attitude. I believe he has the "Eeyore" attitude, the "whatever" attitude. If this is the case, there is little, if anything, that I can do, other than "love him." 






What I then have to do is to ensure that I do something productive, other than study and lunch, between the hours of ten to two. (I have thought of doing the area book, but I can only go so far. I can plan for people, but I cannot do it everyday.) I cannot accuse him of any attitude problems until I am more sure that this is the case. Yet the more I press, the more he is going to distance himself from me. This is where I am at now, the fourth week of the transfer. I realize that I am between a rock and a hard place.  No I have not contacted Missionary Medical. If he has depression or needs any psychological help, that has to be talked with the mission president.




Monday, we got haircuts from our Greek member, because she had offered and my companion needed it. I got one, to get mine trimmed a bit. She mainly cut the sides, but did not really touch the top of my head, only a touch. She gave us cake; she always offers food when we arrive and we have dinner with her soon. We had zone P-day and I took my usual spot on the stage. Well, there was another person there who could not play sports either. Well, we talked and apparently I have been talked about. He had heard that I liked Les Miserables, which earlier that day, in my email, I quoted to you. We talked for the duration that he was there and it was quite nice. We had dinner with ourselves and from there we tried to contact some people we have not seen. One was a less active man, but on this day we were not able to get in. The other was a recent convert and his returning-to-activity wife and sister-in-law. It was good to finally talk to them, officially meet them, and begin to figure out how to help them progress. They have a desire to go to the temple and with the bishop's challenge (to get one family name to the temple by the next ward temple trip in April), it is a big help.


Tuesday, we were able to contact our Persian family and gave them the Persian Book of Mormon. Yes, Persian is still an existing language, even if the country does not exist (Okay so Dad was a bit wrong but they do have ties to Iran and may prefer people to know them as Persians.). It is also called Farsi. Another member of the family talked to us rather than the mother and son. She stated that she and the family were Muslims, but were open to learn more about our beliefs to gain knowledge. It was an interesting visit, because there was no progress and with that mindset, she made it difficult. Later that night, we went to Goochland to contact a referral, who was not home. This referral is a member and needs a ride to church. We were unable to obtain a ride, but we discussed this in ward council, enabling a movement to get a ride from a Goochland member to take him to the church. 

Wednesday, we again went to Goochland, but for an appointment with a lady in a trailer park. She makes clay dolls and she was sculpting one as we were there. I am not sure she was even paying attention to what we were saying, because occasionally, we had to repeat what we said. She did not understand why we asked about baptism, though we talked about it several times in the lesson.

Thursday, we had zone workshop. We did a lot of role playing. We had a refocus on the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and what was actually restored. I had thought about that, but I was glad to hear it reemphasized. It truly is a restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and it helps put Christ in the focus of the lesson and our message. We were recorded like the previous zone workshop. Later that day, we contacted a referral. We had not gone to the computers to see what information was given about this person. We talked with her, though she had no idea why she was referred. We left a bit confused. We are able to return. (As it turns out, there is no information given on the referral, but she referred her self apparently.) 

Friday, we went to one of the houses where we read the Book of Mormon with some of the people there. This is the house where the two people we read the Book of Mormon with are recent converts. From what we read (1 Nephi 11), we had a wonderful discussion on pride and overcoming it. That night, we yet again went to Goochland for a dinner appointment. In the meanwhile, as it was later told to me, there was a birthday party in Richmond where a certain woman attended as well as an elderly man, who is a member of the ward that I am in. Keep that in mind. It is important. Towards the end of the dinner, we received a call from a number that I did not recognize, so I ignored it. As we left the house, I called the person back. Lo and behold, it was the Tappahannock elders. They called, because there was a baptism in Tappahannock for the man who had a lot of medical problems, who was ready to be baptized; however, he was in the hospital when I left and was unable at that time to be baptized. He was getting baptized the next day at seven. Well, it is very, very hard to try to obtain a ride the very next day. I prayed that a way would be provided, because I really, really wanted to go. 


I talked with my companion about who to call. In the meanwhile, at the birthday party, this certain woman approached this elderly man and they proceeded to have a conversation. My companion told me some people to try and at last, we determined to call the elderly man. The elderly man answered his phone and I stated who I was. He could not hear me, so he handed the phone to this certain woman. She apologized that he could not hear and asked who I was. I stated my name and she was like, "Elder Todd? Is this the Elder Todd who served in Tappahannock?" This certain woman was one of the daughters, of the members upstairs from Tappahannock, who has lots of crazy stories to tell. I was quite surprised and stated why I had called. The elderly man could not do it and the woman said she could tonight, but it was impossible to do so. I wrote down her number and sent a text with our number. I did not realize then that this was the way. 


From this conversation, we went to another trailer to talk to this lady. She was drunk and was complimenting me in particular, or in other words, she was hitting on me. She was extremely drunk; she hated my tabs on the scriptures, stated several times that our spirits are going to heaven, and told me that I did not need those tabs or the scriptures. She even prayed that we would understand that there was no point to bury our body. I could have said several things at this point and I was not too happy as well, not because of the tabs, but because of my own love for the scriptures. We immediately left.

We went home. I got permission to go to the baptism. The member from Tappahannock called and she said that she could arrange a ride for me through another member who Elder Henstrom and I helped drag a deer out of the woods with. He was going to pick up Elder Henstrom. He called me and it was arranged. Truly, the Lord knows our circumstances, know us individually, and does indeed answer our prayers.

Saturday, we took care of our progress record and we visited the family who usually takes three hours for dinner. Luckily, we were not there for dinner. We taught her nine year old who does want to be baptized, but does not like Primary nor does he like to sit still. We read out of the Book of Mormon. We had dinner and then we went to Tappahannock. The person who was being baptized was not the only one for there was another man, taught by the sisters, that also was being baptized. Wow, it was really amazing. I was so happy and the man who I was there for was also happy that I came. I was allowed to be one of the witnesses. I told him congratulations and wrote him a note in a small book that I was supposed to sign. A lot of people were there. As the branch president stated, it truly has been a miracle for Tappahannock. In these past three years, a lot of men have been baptized, which means more priesthood holders. The branch is being strengthened and is growing. Truly, the Lord is hastening His work. Tappahannock is a testimony of that. I learned that our single mother investigator's son is going to be baptized in about two weeks. I am going back to Tappahannock again. While we were there, we saw the members upstairs. She had finished Christmas decorating in January after we left. It was really great to see everybody again.

We arrived home late (about 11:00 that night), so Sunday when we had to get up at six for an early morning meeting before Church, it was difficult. We had Church, then we had lunch with the members who sent you that picture. I bore testimony of prayer from the miracle that just occurred. I was really happy about all that occurred. I had a miracle and I had seen somebody enter into the waters of baptism, I wanted to share that happiness. It was a big meal. 

Afterwards, we went to see that less active man, who is a single father going through a rough time. He laughs at his ironic state; his ancestor is Martin Harris and here he is less active. I remembered that there is an excellent talk about single fathers by, I believe, Elder Baxter. I would love to give it to him, but I am not sure how he would take it. After we left him, we had a dinner with the bishop. From there, we tried this less active woman who plans on returning to activity and is making some necessary steps. At this current point, she is not coming to church. She is recovering from an accident that she was in. From talking to her, there were a lot of things reaffirmed in my own mind about things we have previously talked about and things I have stressed.

The future looks positive. Miracles will occur. Ways will be provided.

Alles wohl! Tout va bien!

Love,

Elder S. Todd

Can You Overcome Your Fears?

(This post is from a letter written home and is presented here in an edited form by Elder Todd's father in hopes that this will offer some degree of comfort to others.)

In the middle of my own troubling circumstances, I write to you in full manner of happiness, expressing my own comfort from the Lord.

. . . I often wrote, I believe, about my past which has been a great sorrow to me. I often felt as if I had failed in my past (as a teenager). I did not share the gospel of Jesus Christ as I should have. I did not speak kind words. I did many gospel duties halfheartedly. I was not as valiant as I could have been. Often those thoughts filled my head . . . I too often remembered the bad times rather than the good.

I know that the Lord has forgiven me of my grievances. I have felt His mercy and I enjoy His presence once more. As a flower grows with sunlight, my soul has grown in His presence. I recognize now that I, in the end of my adolescence, had both a testimony - which has been strengthened - and a knowledge of the scriptures - which has grown. . . God has shown me what I did not see.

I recognize now two incidents in my life that would place great importance in turning my life around. Remember in, I believe 6th grade, when I read a scary story that stated I was going to die, causing me to fear greatly? I cried myself to sleep twice that night, Bria (his sister) shared a scripture that influenced me: Alma 37:37. I learned to turn to God in prayer and to seek the scriptures. It would later form a testimony. I pray that she remembers that night.

The other is the youth activity where we caroled at an elderly home. When we ended the caroling, the leaders encouraged us to talk to the elderly. I didn't want to talk to anybody, so I joined another youth, listening to their conversation. A leader pulled me a way to an elderly woman, who nobody presently was talking with her. Though I have forgotten her name, she was a member of the church and she bore her testimony. I remember, because it still lingers with these words: "I know. I know. I know." I learned the power of testimony.

I am grateful . . . My past is not as dark as I see it and my future is bright. By the grace of God I have mastered the past and future. The present is to prepare; to build upon the talents, attributes and the testimony that I have. . . I am a son of God . . . I will go forward in the service of the Lord, magnifying my callings.

Love, 
Elder Todd

Elder Todd with his Sister prior to leaving for Virginia.

A Puzzle Piece is Missing: Are You Sitting On It?

Monday, February 2, 2015

Dear Parents, Mom and Dad/Dad and Mom,

You are right; I do not know what is going on with my companion. I have been persisting in trying to do the right things (In our letter to our son we suggested a number of reasons that might exist behind his companions behavior such as losing a loved one, parents who may have divorced while he was serving, or even a girlfriend who no longer has interest. When you are talking about young adults 18 - 25, reasons for not exhibiting the best missionary behavior can really vary.). I gave him that note (mentioned in a previous post) and I noticed that he withdrew a bit during that Sunday. However, he did not change and he got back into doing what he does. If anything, he has been more openly engaging in activities that are contrary to a person going to bed. I have not enjoyed it; I was slightly getting sadder. I have not given up, because I will not concede defeat. I try to understand what is his cause for behaving the way he does, but he avoids the topic like a plague. I asked him if he has any sleeping problems, which he only said that he has a hard time waking up. Later, I asked about the melatonin that he takes, which he says that he has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. Those things I can understand, but I am missing the big key to this puzzle. I am trying to figure out why then does he not go to bed. Once I find that out, I can proceed in determining the underlying issue. Last night, I planned to confront him and ask him these questions. He was shaving and he then proceeded to shower. I decided then to forego it for the night. If I am going to help him, I need to know how to best help him. I am trying open doors in order to help him. I tried small talk with him, but I am not the best at small talk. In summary, I am seeking answers and I am not going to give up. There are things going on here that I cannot even begin to explain, and I am not going anywhere until I can. 


The biggest success this week is we, for the first time this transfer, weekly planned. It was like, not trying to be negative here, pulling teeth or trying to lead a donkey. Ever since I began to weekly plan in depth, I have loved it, because it gives us a general idea of what we want to focus on and what general scriptures or questions we will use. To me, it shows that we are spiritually creating the lesson, so that we are prepared to enable the Spirit to draw something from us. It is a lot better than stating, "This person needs to be taught the Plan of Salvation... We need to follow up on... We need to invite him..." I will have to hold off on that for a while until I can first help my companion, because trying to do that was a headache. In due time, we will need to do that. Baby steps; that is how we will work. Big success here with weekly planning, though.

You are right. I am very enthusiastic about the work. I have been on this enthusiastic high about missionary work. The reason for this is because I know. From 19 months (and it is scary that it is nineteen months already), I have become more converted to the gospel. I know the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real, that by it each and every one of us is enabled to return to our Heavenly Father. By the Atonement, I have improved myself and closed the distance of my relationship with God. God is real, because He has become real in my life and I recognize the reality of the spiritual aspect of life. It is needed, because it is how we can be happy, not only for a temporal time, but for a lasting duration. My testimony is my fire. As I have learned in a recent meeting, "I light myself on fire, so that people can watch me burn." That testimony is my fuel that keeps me going and lights me on fire. It is both fuel and the igniting power.

A little interesting fact that I have discovered while doing family history this week. I was working on inputting information on Ancestry (as usual) and was correlating on FamilySearch (I was inputting information on the Todd line, which is easier to follow than most of the other names that I have branched off with) when I discovered that a sibling [Nellie Eva Todd, for your information] of Henry Matthew Todd had married John Whittaker Taylor, being one of his multiple wives. We have relations to John Taylor through this, which I thought was cool. Well, we have the institute manual of Church History in our apartment and I was looking through it. I came across John Whittaker Taylor, who during the Smoot hearings had to go into hiding (as well as another Apostle), because he had married more wives after the Manifesto was given. He later resigned from the apostleship and six years later, he was excommunicated for marrying another woman. After reading that, I now more fully realize that it is important to follow the prophet.

The highlights of this week. 

Monday, we had dinner with some members, who told us about this Greek woman who is a less active. We, after trying a few people, went to see her. She is an award winning hairstylist, who, as she had told us, won a competition, because she was able to cut hair really well in seven minutes. (And she will cut out hair for free) She has had some hard times due to the malicious intents of others. She has been asking about the Word of Wisdom and wine, coffee, and tea. This Greek woman is amazing. She is kind and, from what I can tell, is hard working, doing her work quickly and efficiently. We have addressed some of her concerns and answered any questions that she has had. 

Tuesday, we also contacted a man whose wife is a less active. He has a definite interest in the gospel (and he has been taught once by my current companion and my predecessor). We watched the Restoration video with him. He did not come to church this week. The wife was not there when we came by. That night, we had dinner with members who mentioned the press release that the Church had recently done. May I say that it is the most wonderful statement, not because I am a Mormon and not because I am a missionary, but because it calls for fairness for the religious community (in religious freedom laws and protection) and for the LGBT community (in basic human rights, such as housing). [I do hope that I understood the message clearly and conveyed it correctly.] If you have not watched it, I recommend it.  

Wednesday, we went to Cafe Rio, because some missionaries here wanted to go and somebody was leaving. It just opened and so we went. We got a free meal, because members were there and they gladly paid for us. Later that day, we contacted a few recent move ins who have not come to church. Some were excited to see us, others not so much. One person opened the door, we asked if the person was such and such name, and she asked how did you know. Well, may I add a note that her pants had the University of Utah logo on it with Utah near it. True, not all people in Utah are Latter-day Saints, but seeing as we were looking for a Latter-day Saint, it was a big sign saying, "Hey, I am such and such person." She told us we could come back, but she did not seem that excited to see us. Neither did some other people. 

Thursday, not much happened, unfortunately. 

Friday, we had a zone meeting. We talked about spiritually creating our baptisms, we talked about companionships, unity and ward council. Ever since I have come here, there have been a lot of talks and messages that I have applied to myself and my situation. There are some that I could easily look at my companion and say, "Listen," but I decided to take a look at myself. I love President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's "Lord, Is it I?" for it is so easy to look at someone else and say, "Oh, they need it." We are meant to improve and seeing we are imperfect, we should apply the messages to ourselves, even if we heard them multiple upon multiple times. I learned some things during this meeting. 

Saturday, we attempted to get our car serviced. The airbag light came on, which according to the manual, "The airbag may not deploy during a crash and may [in fact] deploy randomly." We found a place to get a diagnosis, which would cost ninety-nine dollars. We called the missionary in charge of the cars, who told us to hold off while he thinks about it. 

Side note, my nightmares have been changing. I used to have nightmares of school and my grades being below a B or even that of an A. I always felt like I was failing a class. Now, I had one dream where I was put into the hospital and I needed some sort of procedure, but before they could do anything, I stated, "Has this been approved by Missionary Medical?" Well, the obvious answer was no, because I was immediately ejected from the hospital. I had another dream/nightmare where I had a seizure and afterwards, I got up and was like, "I need to go to the hospital. I do not feel good." Then, I thought, "Oh, wait, I need to get it approved by Missionary Medical." I told my companion that I am surprised I have not had a nightmare about the cars and the processes with them. Then again, it is not too stressful, though it feels that it happens all too frequently.

Sunday, we had church and we weekly planned. We attempted to see people, but did not have success until that night. We were able to see a few people, despite it being the Super Bowl, the unofficial national holiday.

I do say that "All is Well!" At times, I do want to sing, "Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men, of a people who will never be oppressed again...." but I refrain (partially because I am not entirely sure of how it goes) and it gets me riled up. I will not be oppressed in spirit. My goal for this week is not to give up. I am going to go upward, not downward.

Tout va bien! Alles wohl!

Love,

Elder S. Todd